There is more to life than being happy : Understanding that happiness is not the answer to living better
Inspired by a TED talk by Emily Estahani Smith, I delve into why happiness may not actually be the true reason behind living a fulfilling life. Emily articulates there being much more to life then being happy by debunking 4 pillars which she was taught. I will uncover these pillars and answer questions being raised such as 'Is there more to life then being happy?'
When one spends their life chasing happiness rather then pursing, it becomes less meaningful and more of an unhappy life. Getting caught up on seeking happiness, rather than experiencing meaning leads to less fulfilment and more unhappiness. Suicide rates are on the rise and with life becoming objectively better by nearly every conceivable thing, it raises questions such as why? Is there more to life then being happy? Luckily, with Emily's teachings I have found that yes, there is. People are busy with looking for happiness rather then meaning.
Happiness can be defined as a state of comfort and ease. It is about feeling good in the moment. Me, I am happy when having melon or an ice cream, however, once this 'thrill,' this melon or ice cream is finished, I am back to feeling neutral. Experiencing happiness should not be looked upon in a bad manner, rather we should look upon it as not being the answer for everything.
Meaning, on the other hand, can be defined as belonging to and serving something beyond yourself. Seeking meaning is more of a fulfilling path. It provides more purpose and reason for someone, for us. In fact, psychologists have found that people who have meaning have an increase in the following;
Increased resilience
Increased longevity
Increased focus
Emily Estahani Smith speaks on there being 4 pillars of a meaningful life. These include:
1 - Belonging: Belonging is a sense of fitting in or feeling like you are an important member of an association. The reason belonging is mentioned is because having a sense of belonging makes you feel important and wanted, leading to you feeling more comfortable and settled. This reduces stress and even better relations are created. In the long run, this leads to better connections, strengthening your network and increasing your opportunities.
2- Purpose: Purpose is another pillar mentioned to living a meaningful life as purpose gives people a reason to do something, to pursue. Purpose is a sense of resolve or determination, it is what pushes you to strive and delve into a goal or action. Emily Estahani Smith provides an example of purpose by using her father as an example. Emily's father suffered from al heart attack, where he was rushed into hospital and treated. As the doctors began to perform their work on her father, battling to save his life, Emily's father had given himself a purpose to remain alive, and remains now in good health. He repeated Emily's and her brother's name over and over again whilst doctors had performed life saving work. This had given him the strength to hang on and remain fighting for his life. Of course, all was successful and until this day, Emily and her father believe that with purpose, by saying his children's name, that was what kept him alive. This story was an example of having purpose and that purpose leading to having a much more meaningful life.
3 - Tranquility: Tranquility can be defined as a state of calmness, peacefulness and being tranquil. Tranquility is another pillar towards living a more meaningful life as having a tranquil state of mind allows you to make more rational decisions, act in a better manner and feel overall calm. Tranquility leads to a much more meaningful life as it allows you to have a better state of mind, and defeats negativity. You sustain better relationships, produce a higher work ethic and overall become a better person.
4 - Story Telling: The story you tell of yourself is created by you. You create your own narrative which many people tend to forget. Creating narrative about the events that happen in our life brings clarity and helps us understand how we came about becoming who we are. We often forget we are the authors of our own stories and can change the way we articulate them. Indulging in some self reflection may help us find a way of telling this story of ourself in a brighter light, that uplifts rather than belittles. Our mind reflects our output. What we think of ourselves, we act and project it to others. Thinking inferior means acting inferior. Thinking superior means acing superior. Take a more positive approach about yourself and you will reflect this also.
" You do not find the meaningful life, you make it." - Unknown