No More Whys
I remain contemplative about my decisions.
I am nesting beneath the covers on my bed staring up at the ceiling wondering why me?
Why can’t I get a job?
Why do I constantly get rejected?
Why am I even bothering?
I am suddenly interrupted by my phone’s notification chime.
It pierces through the silence startling me.
The screen illuminates, casting a bright glow across the dimly lit room where I lay.
With a stretch, I bring my hand towards the glowing screen.
I glance and see that it’s an email notification. One that reads:
Store Vacancy Update Wed, 13 Mar, 14:43pm - Just Now
Hi Robin,
Thank you for your interest in our retail assistant position.
Unfortunately, we've reviewed your application and have decided on this occasion, we won't be moving forward with you for this role.
Thanks again for your interest in working with us.
Kind regards,
Sebastian Clark
Recruitment Consultant
“For fuck sake,” I grunt.
It seems like the past few weeks have been darkening. Like a constant overcast that won’t shine any light.
I remain contemplative.
My mind clouded and my decisions uncertain. I want to make myself smaller and even more hidden in my dimly lit room.
I place my phone down and stare at the ceiling.
The silence becomes piercing once again with my thoughts start to race.
Then all of a sudden a change of mind occurs to me.
I decide to stop asking why and instead ask what if.
What if I applied to a different role?
What if emailed to enquire about the rejection?
What if I tried harder?
A spark lit up within me.
It was like the overcast above me cleared and the sky lightened.
It was like the dimly lit room became brighter and wider.
I became less contemplative and more certain.
This change of mind ignited a flame. One that glowed bright. It sparked a change. One for the good.
It was like discovering a key to a vault that held millions of dollars but instead, this metaphorical key I felt I possessed held greater value.
It held hope for my future and hope for my dreams.
It held the opportunity for growth.
- Luluscolectiva